Amusing first lines

Breaking Up by Bill Manville
"I don’t know how other men feel about their wives walking out on them, but I helped mine pack."

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

The Lost Continent
by Bill Bryson
"I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to."

The Crow Road by Iain Banks
"It was the day my grandmother exploded."

Seven Up by Janet Evanovich
"For the better part of my childhood, my professional aspirations were simple – I wanted to be an intergalactic princess."

The Fifth Elephant by Terry Pratchett
"They say the world is flat and supported on the back of four elephants who themselves stand on the back of a giant turtle."

I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
"I write this sitting in the kitchen sink."

The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham
"When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off by sounding like Sunday, there is something seriously wrong somewhere."

The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul
by Douglas Adams
"It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression ‘As pretty as an airport.'"

The Princess Bride by William Goldman
“This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.”

Matilda by Roald Dahl
"It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful."

The Metamorphosis and Other Stories
by Franz Kafka
“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect."

Charlotte's Web by E.B. White
"'Where's Papa going with that axe?' said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast."

Please send in any others that amuse you via the contact page

"Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are." Mason Cooley


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